Post (traumatic) Blog - But Not Really

I was trying to write a nostalgic entry, but after two paragraphs I just stopped, because I feel as if they are less fun to read. I mean they can be fun... but I feel since I haven't written anything for a while, I will my Dashboard Confessional lyrics for another day?

Story of the day:
Walking into Don Pablos, there was a sign reading "Sorry we no long accept checks." I wonder at what point the verbiage of that sign will change, or will even disappear. I mean, I don't think checks have been kosher since the 1990's. Anyways, we continued to walk into the restaurant, and I turned to Brian and said, "thank God they don't take checks here, because time traveling always makes my stomach hurt."

Hmm lets see what other bits of knowldge I can drop on all of you... Oh! So I am trying to start a new thing. I feel like the phrase "that's what she said" has outlasted its life expectancy (coming from the phrase killer himself). So now whenever anyone says a long or more complex sentence (even if it isn't inherantly suggestive) I just add a ".com" to the end. Example, I was having a conversation with a buddy and he said, "can you pass the chicken breast" and then you add a "dot com" to the end... everyone laughs and America wins. It's going to be a thing... trust me.

Now for a little segment called "10 things i learned this summer but I am not quite sure they still apply in winter (dot com)":
- Wearing sandles after work feels like walking on a mixture of clouds, marshmellows, and Courtney Love.
- Brett Favre will become Minnesota's largest tourist attraction... Or will Minnesota be Brett Favre's largest tourist attraction (think about it)?
- Although you can try to sing it in other ways, "Tiny Dancer" is best sung in the highest falsetto voice you can achieve.
- Rollerblading babies really aren't that funny.
- Christmas in July should be recognized by more institutions... I can't find a decent tree anywhere
- I think it would be a good idea to make a building in the shape of a doughnut but only sell muffins.
- If Aliens came to Earth, the first food I would feed them is black liquorish as the ultimate test. If they say they like it then that means that they are friendly aliens... because they know how to be polite - NOBODY can actually like that stuff. If they said they disliked it, I would tell them to go to Mars (to get candy bars).
- I should be able to control my shopping cart with my iphone... and yet there is no App for that
- Slip N' Slides are always a great idea, especially if the main sliding ingredient is anything but water (ask R Kelly for his advice as to what he uses).

And that concludes the tonight's epic adventure!